The Grand Designs Drinking Game

9:09p.m., Wed 24 Jun 2009

I love a bit of Channel 4's Grand Designs. I'm often not particularly taken by the Grand Designers themselves, but Kevin McCloud is always bang on form isn't he?

Given that we've had 38 seasons of the show now, it's tending to a formula - there's only so much you can say about lime render and concrete. So now, to enhance the watching of the show, I present the Grand Designs Drinking Game:

Take a sip when...

• Kevin builds a model to demonstrate a building technique
• Kevin explains a revolutionary new building technique and or building material
• Time-lapse photography is used
• The couple are building in a country where they can't speak the language
• Someone is revealed as being pregnant
• A baby is born
• Lime render comes in to play
• A shot of snow on concrete
• The central couple run up against planning problems
• The central couple run out of money

Take a large gulp when...

• The architect is fired
• Any mention of the word "sustainability"
• Kevin explains that straw bales offer "remarkable insulation"
• A moment of tension as expensive pieces of glass arrive on site
• Kevin tries his hand at a traditional building technique
• Kevin exclaims "isn't that clever?"
• Kevin is pictured sporting a ridiculous hat
• Kevin casually starts conversing in French
• Kevin casually starts conversing in Italian
• Kevin mentions "first fix"

Finish your drink when...

• Kevin exclaims "look at that view!"
• Kevin describes a building as "creating a dialogue with its environment"
• Kevin exclaims "What a space!"
• Kevin describes the project as a "labour of love"

Disclaimer: Always drink sensibly, avoid tequila, Special Brew and anything green. I am not responsible for your liver.