Comedy Skit: Where Men Go To Meet Women
A sketch I thought of. It became less funny written down.
INTERIOR:
A bar. The type of bar where men go to met women and women go to meet men.
We focus on two men.
STEVE is sitting in a relaxed pose, he is comfortable with his surroundings and himself. He is drinking a cocktail.
GEOFF is sitting upright, nervous & uncomfortable with his surroundings. He is holding a pint of lager.
STEVE:
You know the secret of getting exactly what you want from a woman?
GEOFF:
Er, no... no I don’t.
STEVE leans forward and beckons GEOFF into a conspiratorial huddle
STEVE:
NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming... It’s kinda like hypnotism.
STEVE checks over both shoulders
STEVE:
You speak with great confidence and you casually use the word “blow”. A lot.
GEOFF (incredulously):
That’s it?
STEVE:
Sure. Works like a charm. Try it...
STEVE spins GEOFF’S barstool so that he is facing a woman sat on a neighbouring stool The WOMAN is dressed to the nines in an effort to look sexy.
GEOFF:
Hasn’t the weather been awfully windy lately? ... Quite... “blowy”.
WOMAN:
What?
GEOFF:
Sorry. Hi. I'm Geoff, er, Blow.... Jones. Geoff Blowjones.
WOMAN:
Geoff Blowjones?
GEOFF:
I’m a bomb disposal expert. Getting BLOWN up is an occupational hazard for me. Could get BLOWN up any day. Not that I’m BLOW-sting about my job. I don’t think about the danger.
WOMAN:
Thats, er... fascinating.
AWKWARD SILENCE
GEOFF (changing tack):
Do you like blow football? I play in a league!
WOMAN:
What are you talking about?
GEOFF:
So, you don’t like blow football. No problem. Do you like films? My favourite film has to be.... Hmmm... BLOWback Mountain.
WOMAN:
I, er...
GEOFF:
I love James Bond movies too. I think my favourite Bond villain has to be BLOWfeld. What with all the ... Pussy stroking.
GEOFF finishes his drink
GEOFF:
I might get myself another drink. Not lager though. I’m feeling a little BLOWted.
WOMAN (exasperated):
Listen love, stop ranting. I’ll need paying in cash and upfront.
GEOFF:
I’m sorry?
WOMAN:
It’s twenty-five for a blowy. Sixty for the full monty, alright?
GEOFF:
Oh. Right.
GEOFF spins his stool to face STEVE
GEOFF (incredulous, excited):
Bloody hell Steve! It works!
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